Fear....

Anyone else afraid they won't get everything done?  Everyone knows that I am a super-anal person.  My clients love it. M finds it hilarious and endearing sometimes and annoying others, and it stresses me out.  My company has grown exponentially over the year and I am so excited and proud to be the owner of my boutique event design company, Amour Toujours Events.  The problem comes in my own wedding. I am afraid that I will drop the ball on something, that there is something I have forgotten.  I am afraid that I have dropped the ball on a client's event, haven't checked an email, responded to a call, placed an order for florals. I am afraid.

I think it's a healthy sense of fear that drives me to be the best, but does anyone else sit down sometimes and think what the hell am I doing?!  I have a huge bridal show coming up this weekend as well as a wedding on Friday.  As such, I am very stressed out thinking: did I do everything I needed to?  Are the business cards ordered, linens ordered for the show and bride, did I send the timeline, and get it okayed with the bride and her family.  Oh yeah did I get a SITTER for our children, have I let my assistant designer know what time to meet me there, is my emergency kit packed.  Add to the equation the exorbitant amount of money that I pay in advertising, and you'll begin to understand.

I am not afraid of success. I am afraid of not doing everything in my power to succeed.  Have I forgotten a step that would increase my earning potential or make my company more successful?  The what ifs are huge right now while I am wracking my brain to ensure success in all of my endeavors.  I believe it is time I took a step back and reflect and perhaps in a week or two a relaxation break. I am up to my proverbial here on orders for cake toppers and aisle runners, not to mention my biggest even of the year so far is on the 27th.

What are your fears in planning your wedding and life in general?