Saturday, February 6, 2010

When I get mad I save money :o)

I have been in quite the conundrum when choosing a dress, I wanted something that would flatter my shapely size 14/16 body, I wanted to TRY it on in the store, and I wanted it to be budget friendly, I mean that's not a lot to want right, BULL SH.T!  I write this while I am still infuriated.  It all started out with one dress, the great gorgeous figure flattering La Sposa Fanal.
Pretty dress, right?  Gorgeous dress, has everything that this Mocha Frugalista wanted in a color, and it was over budget, but hey what's 500.00 extra bucks in the name of couture fashion, right?  That was my first mistake. I should have stepped back and slapped myself or at least shook myself like I do for my clients.

I seriously needed to be talked off the ledge.  Even I, a seasoned professional, fell into the "one special day hype" -- sorry for the aside back to my riveting story -- So I called four states (FOUR STATES) looking for this dress in a size that would go down over my thighs (notice I didn't say button, I said go down over my thighs!!!!!!!!!!!)  Here were the results:

  • Arkansas size 10

  • Louisiana size 12, 14

  • Mississippi size 10

  • Texas size 10 (in five different stores!!)
Now, yes the size 14 probably would have gone over my thighs in all fairness, BUT I was so disgusted by that point that I didn't want to waste the time going for a disappointment and knowing that other size 14s didn't go down at all from the same designer.  I decided then and there that the wedding gown industry would not get my money.  I have tried on over 40 gowns at this point, and I am done with being made to feel inferior.  I understand that I am a larger size, but I'm the average size in this country. I am actually going to the gym and working out 5+ times a week, not to fit into an industry standard, to tone up and just be an overall better me, so I am not saying that is acceptable or unacceptable to be the size that I am, I am only saying that dress designers and boutiques should not make over half of the population feel inferior or discouraged.

Now, there were rays of sunshine, the Essence of Australia "Naja" was a wonderful dress and I loved it but she was almost $1100 more than I wanted to spend and that was just too much of a stretch for me to spend on a wedding dress.

Instead of continuing to crush my usually uber-confident self (some call it arrogant, lol), I began looking at a preowned dress site, thinking that "at least I could purchase a dress from another full-figured bride and give her some money back for a dress that I know would have cost her more because it is more fabric for the gown and was probably emotionally draining for her".  In other words not only are we made to feel fat and inferior in the stores, we are penalized further by paying a higher cost because of "fabric". You know what bridal industry this ones for you in the words of the pop icon, Madonna...  And forgive me but I am not going to be P.C. .

So yes, I have decided that I will spend about a third of what I was going to be hyped into spending because I couldn't try on a dress and I am going back to my frugalista's roots.  Now, don't feel bad for me at all (and errr don't cry for me argentina)  I will definitely get the sass and pizazz I want, and wear a designer gown that is 800+ in the stores for less than half that amount.  Now err who's crying?  Boo hoo hoo designers because you won't get this PHAT (pretty HAUTE and tempting) girl's money :o)... Instead I will save it for some kick butt vendors on Etsy who actually care about making the customer happy no matter what (yes in the words of my girl Sheree: whatever happened to customer service?  Whatever happened to the customer's always right?)  I guess in this industry it's whatever happened to the customer that's always the right SIZE...

I am currently in talks with the seller about the dress and after she and I come to terms and the purchase is made, I will post pictures of THE Dress and she is slim, ruched, ivory and has a scattering of crystals but not enough to overpower her.  I don't have a name for her yet, I never have a name until I try them on and see how I feel in them. I will still be doing a few custom things to her that I discovered I liked the last time I tried on a dress lol!  And the lovely beauty that I am negotiating will probably cost between $300-400.00!!!!  Cross your fingers and wish me luck because this time Monday I could have a wedding dress!!!


Ms. Polka Dottie said...

Good luck! I hope she is everything you want when you try her on.

This is a worry of mine. I'm an 18 and think about having to go through looking for a dress and the places not having my size. I'm very confident, but that does worry me.

Mocha Frugalista said...

@Ms. Polka Dottie: I'm honestly not worried, the shape and silhouette are almost exactly what the dresses that I keep trying on look like. It is actually a dress that I wanted to try on, but they didn't have it in my size so I couldn't get into it. I think if you go to Davids you will see what looks good on you. Also, if you call into stores and let them know what size you are they will pull dresses in your size first and you can try them on from there, if that makes sense....

diyprincessbride said...

I'm sorry hun. Hopefully this will all work out and you will get to try it on. This is the problem with the fashion industry as a whole. They don't cater to the curvier woman of the world. It's quite frustrating. Not every woman is size 0-10.

Mocha Frugalista said...

@diy:i'm over it. I am not able to try on the dress in my size, that designer doesn't have a loaner program. Instead I am buying my dress from another bride (I am waiting to hear back from her so that I can purchase the dress. My mom has already agreed that she'll pay for it and that it will look amazing on me). So I am happy; mom is happy and I will have a dress for less than $400!

An Encore Bride and Georgia Belle said...

I was extremely saddened when I went to look at dresses yesterday also. But you already know that huh. A sea of white and ivory..never the dress you want, and def not in the colors you like. Arrrrgh. Make that double arrrrggggggghhhh.

Pissy doesn't even come close to how I feel and obviously how our Frugalista feels either. Hugs to all here who have dealt with the dress.

I may just be the first bride who walks down the aisle with a burlap bag dress know, I'll find a big honkin' bag and just cut out arm holes and a spot for my head and rip out the bottom for my legs. But I got the damn shoes though!!! I HAVE the shoes.

Mocha Frugalista said...

@an encore: i was threatening to walk down the aisle in my great accessories (post is coming I promise lol) and well that's it. Makes a heck of a boudoir pic now doesn't it! LOL!!